Date: January 14th, 1924

I've been having reoccurring nightmares. I'll wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. There's blood, gunfire, death. It's horrifically, and viscerally real. People talk about how they can fly in their dreams. Their unconsciousness doesn't follow the laws of physics. Mine are nothing like this.

Date: January 27th, 1924

I don't know how to describe the nightmares in writing. It's too much to fathom. Too much to describe to those who don't experience it- which is everyone other than myself. Corpses, bloodcurdling cries. I wake up and have to figure out if they really occurred or not- if they're just dreams, or if I'm reliving memories. I don't even know who to tell about them. If I seem too crazy, they'll send me away. Dose me up on more barbituates than any man needs. I'll go crazy in the process of trying to not go crazy.

Date: March 5th, 1924

The nightmares won't stop. A glass of whiskey before bed, or a jog to tire me out, nothing gives me a peaceful sleep. I don't know the cause. It's overwhelming. My art is less refined. Less curves, more sharp lines. I feel more frantic, like every piece could be my last.

Date: April 30th, 1924

God help me. I can't tell the difference between my waking life and my dreams. Is this real? Will I wake up after writing this?

Date: July 9th, 1924

In sleep, there is no peace. In wakefulness, there is no peace.

Date: ----, 1925

there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in sleep there is no peace in wakefulness there is no peace in anything but death.

may god have mercy on my soul.